The new concept in wedding invitations is to send your wedding invites out in two batches. First send your invitations to those on your A-list. Then, once those on your A-list have RSVP’d you can send out your invites to those on the B-list. This is a method of controlling how many guests attend your wedding when you have more guests you would like to invite than you are able to invite.
We recommend avoiding the A-list / B-list method of inviting people if you can. But we understand that for some brides and grooms it may be very tempting to give this a try in order to accommodate a small venue or a tight budget.
The tricky thing is making sure that no one discovers that they were on the B-list — in fact, you don’t want anyone to even suspect that there is a B-list!
One way to do this is to make sure that you keep each social circle together on one list or another. For instance, your work colleagues should all either be on the A-list or on the B-list. If you make the mistake of inviting one of your co-workers with the A-list and have the rest of them on the B-list, then they are all going to be wondering why they didn’t get an invitation yet.
Since social circles intersect this can really get messy.
Another problem is that the success of this method of inviting people to your wedding is entirely dependent on each person faithfully RSVP’ing.
Realize that many of those invited will not be great about RSVP’ing. They will assume that “of course they know I’ll be there for their big day” OR “I’m sure they don’t need to know that we aren’t going to be able to make it.”
This can make the A-list / B-list option a bit challenging.
If you decide not to have a B-list, we recommend inviting about 15-25% more people than you hope to have at your wedding. Chances are only about 75-85% of the people will be able to make it.
You should also send an invitation to relatives and close friends even though they will obviously not be able to make it. For instance, send an invitation to your aunt and uncle who live on the other side of the country. They will be happy to have an invite from you as a token of your wish that they be a part of your big day.
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